head over heels

Do you think you’ve ever been in love?

I don’t think I’ve ever known what love is. I love my friends, I love my family, but I don’t think I really know what love is when it is the romantic love between two individuals. I used to think that to love someone is to give them the power to hurt you, break your heart, and trusting that they won’t. Actually someone taught me that, heh. But I don’t really know what I think about love anymore.

How many times can you actually say that you’ve been in love?

I think that if you can say at least once, you’re lucky to know what love is. But at our age (and I’m addressing those who are my age, give or take a few years) I think that it is nearly impossible to know what love really is, much less experience it already. But if you truly believe that you’ve been in love at the young age of blank-teen, truly believe you know what love is I applaud you for that. And that is not said laced with sarcasm, but sincerely said, because I myself cannot make heads or tails of this emotion.

I don’t think I’ve ever been in love, but I’ve been “in like” before. It sounds so funny when said, or in this case written, but I think that this expression describes the feelings we young people have for each other better than “in love”. I hear way too many couples throw around the words “I love you” when they’re together, especially when they’ve just started dating. What amazes me the most is that the very same people can find a new relationship almost immediately after breaking up with the person they were so “in love” with.

Being in love is hard from what I’ve seen. Having friends who’ve been in relationships before gives me a little insight in the world of relationships since I have never been in one. It seems so scary after I see all the tears and heartaches that come from being in a relationship, from both the guy and the girl. If you really feel so strongly for another person you really do give them the power to hurt you. And it takes a lot of trust to believe that they won’t because they feel just as strongly about you too. Which makes me scared to be in a relationship, because I both don’t trust too easily and I am too trusting. Sounds rather contradictory don’t you think? I’m one of those people who don’t open up too easily to people I’ve just met, I have a problem trusting people because I’ve been screwed before because of it. But once I get to know you and I become good friends with you, I really trust you because I think I value my friends above all other things. I don’t want to ever hurt as badly as I have been before or as much as I’ve seen my friends get hurt.

Right now I’m just thinking about the times that I’ve been “in like”. Truthfully, they’ve never been very good experiences. I think the first time I’ve really liked someone changed me, and probably not for the good either. It has certainly shaped me into the girl that I am now, but if I could I think that there are some things that I would change about that experience. I’m actually in like with someone right now. Not the best thing I’ve done either. I always seem to have the worst choice in guys. Worst timing. Worst everything. Seems like the story of my love life. I haven’t got any luck at all when it comes to romance.

Yeah, I don’t know what I’m rambling on about right now. It’s just something I was thinking about.