love, love, love
June 23, 2008 at 11:56 am | In ramblings | 4 CommentsTags: CARMEN
So… today is a special day. GUESS WHY?! It’s Carmen’s birthday!!
This girl is the weirdest, most spontaneous, little kid I know that’s 19 years old. And you know what? I love her to death. Despite all the weird looks we get while we’re walking because she’s singing loudly in Chinese and how she doesn’t know how to walk straight or cross streets (and might just get me killed one day, I swear… -.-; ) I love her all the same.
We have some pretty weird times together Carmen, not to mention all the memories that we share. You know what my favorite one is? You telling people how me met again after 5 years of not seeing each other. The one where you ran up to me while we were in the Dyker schoolyard and asked me out of nowhere whether or not I was in Excel for summer school. And I said no. Partially because you scared the crap out of me and partially because I don’t remember the summer school. Lol. And the best part of this memory is that I have absolutely no recollection of it, I only know about it because you told this story so many times. But I DO remember you from summer school now. How I met you in third grade, taught you origami, took your tests for you when you broke your wrist (what you called the third grader’s equivalent of taking a bullet for you haha) and all that good stuff. 
Then after the schoolyard incident I got to know you better in freshman year of high school. That was not a great year but we got to know each other a lot better, AND that was the year that I remembered you from the third grade! From then on it just got better and better with you. Through all the stuff that’s happened since high school started you’ve been my best friend through thick and thin. And you are just AWESOME (even if you do scare people).
Despite all the stuff that’s happened from high school up to now you have always been there for me acting like your silly self to make me feel better, asking if I need to be punched to make me feel better (not a good idea for anyone btw) and just being a great friend in general.
When college started I was so scared that we as a group would drift apart and unfortunately I think that some of us have, even though we still get together as a huge group. But you and I not only kept in touch, but I think that we’ve gotten closer this past year. Although our days are not free for us to chill that much (damn that around the clock work schedule, lol) I am so glad that we get to hang out afterwards and every Saturday.
Today’s your birthday, my little 7 year-old is getting older and turning 19. (Anyone who doesn’t know you would find that line so confusing.) You’re clumsy, kind of slow, a bit naive but you’re also spontaneous, fun, and lovable. All these qualities (good and bad) make you the Carmen we all adore. So happy birthday love, I hope you have a good one with many more to come. And don’t worry I’ll celebrate each one with you until we’re both old and… well… old. Lol. (I’m still waiting for my big bouquet of flowers on our seven year anniversary btw babe.)
[I just ignored like half my lines to write this ;x that's how much you mean you me, lol. I'm a bad worker, but an awesome friend ;P]
maturing? maybe not.
June 19, 2008 at 8:24 pm | In ramblings | 5 CommentsTags: growing up, maturing
We’re all getting older and we’re all growing up. Right? Right? I don’t know…
It seems like all we’re doing right now is aging, but we’re not getting any older in terms of maturity. And there’s nothing wrong with that ’cause we all know that some of the immaturity is what makes us all good friends. But honestly, I think we all need to grow up a little. Just a little.
Sometimes it feels like even though we’re all in college we never really left high school and all the drama that comes with it. And yeah, I’m kind of tired of it. I was really irked about it before, the fact that I got worked up about it often can attest to that. But now it’s more of a tired feeling. Like… we’re all grown ups now, turning 20 next year. We should be mature enough to deal with problems head on rather than ignoring them and hoping that they go away or hoping that other people will fix the problems for you.
I don’t know, I just think that everything can just be dealt with a bit better. *shrug
On another note, what the heck do you do when you’re given a deadline on life&love?
iHate
June 11, 2008 at 10:16 pm | In ramblings | 6 CommentsTags: assholes, CARMEN, D, DEBBY, ESTHER, girl, guy, hate, laugh, lectures, love life, no joke, school, temper, weather
I hate when my mom starts lecturing me. There are two topics that she refuses to let go of regardless of how many times she’s already beaten the issue to death, and those two topics are my academics and my love life.
So many people my age and even older than me do not have a clue about what they want to do or major in in college. And yet my mom (and really everyone in my family) fails to grasp that concept. Every single time that I am home someone ends up asking me what I want to major in and what I want to do for a living after college. And they are just taken aback by my response each time, even though it’s the same response every time. Amazing.
Of course, there’s my love life. Or should I say the lack thereof? My mom told me at the beginning of the school year, “No dating, focus on your academics.” And I was completely fine with that, I was fed up with the bullshit that came with guys anyway. And you know what I should have listened because I ended up getting so fucked over by emotions and guys and stuff. Then half way through the year my mom does a complete 180 and asks if I’ve found a boyfriend yet. Can you say “wtf?” Each time we’re alone she asks me, and she asks often. And each time I tell her no she tells me she’s worried for me, worried that I might never find a boyfriend, never be able to date. At first that just irritated me, because that’s like saying I’m so unattractive and such a bad person to be around that no guy would want to date me. But now, I am not only okay with not dating, I’d rather not date. Because it seems that no matter who I end up liking, they all turn out to be assholes, in one way or another. Emotionally detached/commitment-phobic, over-obsessed, manwhorepedophile. What an amazing selection. I did say I have the worst taste in guys. Whatever.
I hate the weather. I think the weather gets to me way too much this summer. My temper is a lot worse than in the past. Maybe it’s because I’m having all this crap thrown at me. But like whatever it is that I have to deal with, I can definitely deal with it. I always do. But the weather makes it so much worse to handle, ’cause the weather intensifies all the bad feelings. All the time. I’m glad it’s getting cooler. I’m a much nicer person when the weather is nice.
Speaking of being nice. Or, not nice… I am a really really mean person depending on the situation I am in. Like, seriously, do not piss me off. I am not an easy person to piss off normally, and when you do I usually get over it really quickly. Perhaps half an hour to a few hours at most. But there are some topics that I do not like to ever come up. Those topics I do not joke about nor do I get over easily.
I gotta stop writing here, my fucking D just popped off again. Fuck. Ugh, whatever. I hate this key.
Anyway. I just noticed something. And it made me feel so SO much better. (I am still using a broken D, the need to rant overrules the annoyance of typing D’s with a nub instead of an actual key.) Anyway. I highly doubt that you read my blog, but if you do I am addressing you. I for the love of god cannot figure out why I liked you in the first place. You were mean to me, you hit me (you hit me and that shit hurt because no matter what you are still a guy and I am still a girl), and you took advantage of how nice I was to you among other things. I’m glad now that there was never a chance that you’d return my feelings and we’d end up together. Because as I’ve found out you’re like the people I described in my first post on this blog. You seemed so brokenhearted when you get dumped, but apparently not brokenhearted enough to stop you from chasing another girl less than a month after it happened. And a change of heart to a different girl another month after that. AND you’re proud of your girl habits. This just makes me disappointed in you and even more disappointed in myself for liking you. At first I was really upset, but then I realized. All this stuff, while not apparent at first is just superficial. You used the same lines with your new girl as you did with your last. And that kind of makes me laugh. Sorry. But please don’t take this in a really bad way. I’m not bashing you (that much). I think you’re a pretty good friend. But as a guy, I’d have to say you are one of the worst sort.
I need to help my sister with stuff now, so toodles. I’ll see my loves tomorrow at kareoke&dinner.
you know
June 9, 2008 at 10:28 pm | In ramblings | 5 CommentsTags: bullshit, crap, DEBBY, friends, guys, hot weather, plans, regrets, venting
I think I feel kind of like crap right now.
For a variety of reasons. Which I will write about to vent, ’cause you know, that’s kind of the whole point of my blog: venting.
Anyway, this has been bugging be for a LONG time now, and not just me but someone else too. But I’m going to write about it ’cause she doesn’t need to vent, I do. Besides she’s all vented out. Lol. So yeah, I’ve been noticing since I got back to the city that it seems like we’ve all drifted. And it’s been bothering me so much, mostly because I think it’s so ridiculous. Yeah, we’re busy and stuff when we have work, but guys… having work doesn’t mean we have NO time whatsoever. I know for sure that other individuals would not be “forgotten” about or just not asked to go hang out because they have work “all the time”. This is especially true for the night time, we do not work around the clock so it is a good guess that anything after 5 (or 1 or 4 in Carmen’s case) is completely do-able. But yeah, whatever you know. I think I care a bit less each time I vent or talk about it.
I get REALLY irritated when it’s hot. Not like, today is hot weather –> I go crazy. More like, my brain is melting –> I want to sock someone in the face. And I realized that on Sunday, I was going out of my mind at home in the heat. I snapped at every one that talked to me and I threw stuff around. I think I might have done stuff to piss my mom off just because I was going insane and wanted someone to join me. I’m terrible, I know. Oddly enough, this doesn’t happen often. Which is really good. Like, REALLY good. So I haven’t killed anyone yet. But I’ve been wanting to punch someone in the face for a while not, the heat just made me want to do it more.
Since it seems as though regret is a popular topic for blogging, I have something that I want to get off my chest. There are a lot of things that I regret. I tell people not to regret things, that if it’s something you’ll regret then it’s not worth doing. But obviously everyone regrets something regardless of what they might say or do. One of the things I really regret is losing a friend that is, well I guess was, very close to me. I’m still friends with him but it’s just not the same. We went from being practically siblings to almost strangers. It’s as though he’s just like an acquaintance now. And not only have I lost a close friend of mine, I feel like I’ve already been replaced. It fucking blows. Whatever, guess there’s no point in dwelling on something that won’t change. Believe me I was late in trying, but I’ve tried. And I’m sorry for the immature way I handled things, but that’s just how I am. And I can’t really change anything and that’s just… sad.
Still have the worst taste in guys. I never seem to reciprocate the feelings of the guys who actually deserve it. And this time it’s just… getting stupid. Immensely stupid. ARGH! Whatever. WHATEVER.
I’m trying to just not think about anything. Just looking forward to the stuff planned for this week and next week. Laters loves, see you soon.
Oh yeah, by the way Debby, you’re awesome for a whole long list of reasons. Just felt like saying that.
iLove, iThink, iMiss
June 4, 2008 at 11:09 pm | In ramblings | 4 CommentsTags: food, friends, love, miss, plans, think, work
I love food. It is just so freaking awesome! And I’ve just come back from an all you can eat buffet at Todai. So de-lish! Of course for its price tag it better be… But anyway, the food is not that bad, it’s not spectacular, but it’s above average. And that’s saying a lot considering how picky I am when it comes to food. 
I especially liked the snow crabs, they were absolutely worth getting my hands all yuckky for. What else did I like there… I forgot what it was but it was a beef dish ;x I am a very big fan of meat. I think it tastes so much better than veggies, but then again that’s just me. Lol, I can’t be like Carmen and eat a bag of lettuce for lunch. I think if I had to live off salads I’d end up crying by the end of the second day of doing so. Yeah… I’m weird like that. ><
Oh yeah, today during my lunch break I finished eating early (incidentally it also happened to be a buffet ;P). So I decided to go to Strand to read some books and I ended up buying two books to read. Yay for books! I’m not a nerd. >>; Lol.
I think that breaks are great. Especially since we don’t get to spend too much time together the rest of the year. Such far distances for schooling. *sigh. But I think that just makes us appreciate each other more when we do get to chill. It kind of sucks though because the whole distance thing has caused some of us to drift. And sometimes it’s not even a distance issue that causes us to drift apart but various circumstances that we find ourselves in. Complete BALLS (something I picked up from Victor who picked it up from being in Boston). But again, like Carmen said, it can’t be a one sided thing if you’re trying to patch it up. If the other person’s not willing to try, it’s not going to work out. Just a thought…
I miss the random chillings that I did with people when I got back from school. Now that I’ve started working (hooray for income) I have less time to hang out with everyone, which really sucks… I went from having so much time on my hands to do whatever to having almost no time to hang out. Every time I get a job I hate it ’cause it takes away time from seeing friends. I know exactly how Carmen feels about working. 
And I think they’re going to switch my schedule after two weeks or so. So instead of working from 9 to 5 I might be working from 10 to 6. And I really don’t want that ’cause not only do I not get to spend time with Carmen when we go to work together, but I get off work an hour later. This kind of sucks. ><; But about the job itself, I can’t really say there’s anything to complain about. I don’t have to do anything strenuous since I’m just answering phones. The work is easy since everything is in the scheduling software. It’s a tiny bit confusing working the switchboard, but I think I’ll get used to it (I hope). There’s a lot of stuff to memorize though. I have cheat sheets all over my work area. The people are really nice there and they’re funny too. The best part about this job (in my opinion) is that when a patient gets annoying or is difficult to handle I can just put them on hold, which I couldn’t do when I was working at the bank, lol. Anddd today Carmen and Edward came to pick me up from work. ^^V Too bad I can’t pick Carmen up from work anymore… Sorry love!
Still miss SO. I know, I’m a loser. Yuck.
Well, I’m just waiting to do the rest of the events I have marked on my calendars. After work of course… But definitely looking forward to all the stuff I have planned for this summer. Ciao bellas.
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