do you understand?

July 28, 2008 at 2:12 am | In ramblings | 5 Comments
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Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

money troubles

July 22, 2008 at 1:14 am | In ramblings | 4 Comments
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We’re only 19 going on to 20 right now, some of us are even still 18 going on to 19. A little early to be worrying about money right? At least on a big scale.

I learned early on that you have to work hard for the money that you have. I started working when I was 16, when every one else was still going to summer prep classes and just hanging out and having fun. It sucked to not be able to spend that much time with every one. But I was making money, more importantly it was my money, I was earning it. That felt pretty good, knowing I wasn’t just spending my parent’s hard-earned money. And it really is hard earned for them, which is why I feel so guilty using it. And every year since I started working I have been working for the money that I spend.

My jobs were kind of varied. Glorified office assistant/delivery girl for two years, a bank teller/data entry person, working administrative duties inside a hospital college, and currently a phone operator in a hospital. With each job my earnings increased as my wages went up. That was immensely pleasing, especially since I am a big spender ( I love to go shopping ;x ) My pay is at it’s highest right now: $14/hour. And I, thankfully, do not get taxed a lot.

What was the point about talking about all of this…

I have only started saving my earnings this year. Those previous years of work all went to my ( sometimes outrageous ) spending habits. But those savings won’t be there long, they probably won’t even last until the beginning of September. Why? Because I am going to be using ( probably ) most of it to pay for my tuition for next semester. My mum told me when I started my job this summer that she would not be paying for my schooling anymore, that I would have to pay for it on my own. Of course I was surprised, but what could I do but accept it? And I also have to pay for the new washing machine that she bought. Not to mention the monthly metro cards that I need for work. You would think that since I’m making more than I ever did and since I’m actually saving my paychecks I’d have a lot more money. Apparently that is not the case.

Last night I received news that was like the frosting for my already ugly money cake: I had lost my scholarship from school. This adds on an extra $2000 to the tuition that I have to pay out of pocket. It’s understandable to be upset about that right? Because I was really upset by this news. I called them during my lunch hour today to hopefully appeal for my scholarship. No such luck. I guess I was still feeling hopeful before I spoke to the woman who handled my call. After she told me I definitely wouldn’t be getting the money everything just went downhill in my mind. Embarrassingly enough I started crying right where I stood. Right in the middle of the street. I couldn’t help it, I am unfortunately a crybaby.

I am really really thankful that I have the friends that I do. While I was freaking out about all of this, they were actually thinking clearly for me in addition to comforting me. I still haven’t completely sorted it all through but at least I have some idea of what I could do. Thanks guys…

I forgot the point of this entry. Heh, no surprise there. This tends to happen a lot with me. :\

Well, this has taught me something though. All the drama from high school or even now does not seem like that big of a deal…

my… what delicious and entertaining adventures you have!

July 16, 2008 at 1:59 am | In ramblings | 5 Comments
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So my dears I have finally stopped being lazy and finished planning out DCJ part III! :] This is what I have ( unless you have any objections or changes, which is okay because we usually “wing it” most of the time… ) ANYWAY, back to my point. I have this as our itinerary for the day ( next week, Thursday ): Beard Papas ( the one near west 4th, unless you guys prefer the one that’s on west 8th[?] ); then we go to Nyonya’s for dinner; and after that, since we’ll most likely have a lot of time to kill, we will go to the shore near where you guys live and walk for a while towards the bridge and possibly watch the sunset together. And as always with our adventures there will be a lot of DCJ stalking and camwhoring ( more so during the sunset preferably ). If there are any changes let me know beforehand, or the day of, or whenever. Lol, like I said we’ll wing it. It’s more fun that way. :D Part IV is your turn Debbs!

So anyway, it’s been pretty interesting for me lately. YAY!

I was supposed to go to a movie screening last Wednesday, that was a complete bust. Not to mention an infuriating waste of time. And of course I don’t take that kind of crap when I get mad, so I bitched at the organizers. A lot of good that did. -.-; But whatever, made me feel better. And it was entertaining for other people. Win-win? So we’re going again tomorrow night (well, later on tonight ) with promises of priority seating from the organizers. Let’s see if they actually keep their word this time…

Thursday I went karaoke with Carmen and co. And OMG does Tony have the most amazing voice ever when he sings… It puts pretty much everyone that I know to shame. Sorry people. ;x And it also makes me really nervous when I sing because he’s just sitting there listening to you and nodding his head when he thinks you’re doing well. Other times he just sitting there listening to you sing, but yeah… it’s like being in school during chorus practice again. Haha. AND we also found out how terrified of bugs Henry is. It’s pretty comical until you get in the way of his dodging the bugs. Then it’s painful for you AND comical for everyone else. Overall very good night, it was extremely fun. Especially since Carmen and I have so many lesbian moments that ALL the guys there miss. Fun fun.

I hung out with Stony losers on Friday. Went to Chinatown to get some lychee sorbet from Chinatown Ice Cream Factory, yum yum yum! Then we went back to Brooklyn to eat at Outbacks. I had shrimp and scallop fettuccine, which they kept sticking their forks in! They were trying to steal my scallops. :[ It was really funny at the restaurant because their pumpernickel bread is the best freaking bread on earth. And I absolutely LOVE it. So Brian is being a loser and takes the bread from me, so being who I am I threatened to stab him with the knife. And the waiter just happened to be standing behind our booth. When he walks by he tells us he'll bring another plate of bread. I guess he decided he needed to explain why since we hadn't quite finished our first loaf yet. Haha... imagine the situation as he explains hearing me threaten someone over a loaf of bread. Yikes. :[ After we left Outbacks we started walking towards the shore but made a pit stop at the swings at bay8th. Super strong love for the swings. :D After about half an hour or maybe it was an hour, we left and went to the shore. We walked all the way the the Verrazano Bridge! It was extremely tiring, not to mention time consuming. But it was a pretty nice trek. Luckily the bus ride home was quick since it was 11PM. Empty bus FTW!

Saturday I went to get poked with needles. Big ouch, they took 4 vials of blood from me. Is that normal guys? 4 vials? Like, serious question... Anyway. Lately I've been experiencing trouble breathing ( more so than I usually do ) so I told my doctor about it. After she was done with the physical she sent one of the nurses in to hook me up to an EKG to check out my heart. I'm due back next Sunday for the results. Hopefully there's nothing wrong.

SUNDAY. One of the most entertaining nights I've ever had. LIPS did not have the best food, but the entertainment is just awesome. And since I'm a girl, it bothered me a lot less than it bothered the guys there. It was pretty hilarious seeing how uncomfortable they were being around the drag queens. Haha. And they kept hitting on them too. Feels awkward doesn't it? I can't wait for the pictures and videos to be posted online. ;]

Today I stayed an extra hour at work and then stayed in the city an extra hour so that I could go home with Carmen. That means I stayed until 7 just to see Carmen today, this girl better appreciate me! ;P Anyways, went Wendy’s to grab some food for our tummies before heading home. That’s after walking around Whole Foods and leaving after looking at the prices and lines. Big no to both. When we were walking to the station from Wendy’s this guy came up to us and wouldn’t leave us alone. Kind of creepy… He asked if we were 18 yet and when Carmen said no he asked if she was lying. Should have insisted on being 17… Anyways, long story short: he just creeped us out by constantly assuring us he’s not a bad guy and that we want to give him our contact info for a job offer. Uh, no. We jetted out of there as fast as we could. Later creepy man. Train ride home was good too. Finished eating our food, which that man interrupted. We also looked over some recipes that Carmen ripped out of magazines at work, haha… We’re going to have a cooking&baking day soon! YAY! I feel bad for the kitchen though… >>; Sorry, kitchen. But fully anticipate pictures of the mess and results from that day. We’re also going to do a test run of the cakes for Brian and Ivan’s birthday party. We have 3 weekends until the party so hopefully we can get it done to see if it’ll be okay.

Okay, really way past my bedtime. Toodles loves. ;D

i have a body and it’s name is pain.

July 1, 2008 at 12:47 am | In ramblings | 4 Comments
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Updates!

It’s already July, wow! Where has the time gone…

It seems like almost yesterday I was ready to rip out my hair trying to find a job to add to my income (which happened to be $0 until I landed this job). Nowadays I’m just bored out of my mind at work, reading comics, facebooking, and emailing people ( no form of instant messaging at work whatsoever :[ ) However, this job is not that bad considering what some other people have to do for work. I think I lucked out in getting hired for this position. Plus the pay is great for not doing anything. ;P But I really do need the job. I have to start paying my own tuition on top of paying credit and cell phone bills. The price of having a job… And I might be getting a new laptop because this one has been acting all screwy for a while now. I’ve been getting a lot of suggestions pointing towards a mac, what do you guys think?

Anyway, July… Summer is going to fly by fast. You might not think so but it’s already in the second half of summer. In two months (or a month and a half for most of you dormers) we’ll be heading back to school. Believe it or not I actually missed school. The reason for that? I had so much more freedom while I was away at school. I stayed out until whenever ( although I had to walk back at like 4 am pretty often, partially my fault ’cause I’m an idiot and partially ’cause my guy friends are sucky ;x ), I had a lot of time to do whatever, I didn’t have to get yelled at by my mom all the time, etc. I think out of all theat I missed having time to hang out the most. Right now getting paid, while completely and utterly awesome, cuts into my time with friends. I’ve kind of gotten used to it by now but it still makes me miss it. I guess it’s a good thing though, in a way, because it makes us appreciate the time that we DO spend together.

Now I’m up to the name of this entry. I went to the beach with all the cool people over the weekend. And it was pretty much a blast. Of course there were a few minor kinks in the day but oh well, what can you do about it? So while at the beach we all went into the water which was freezing until you got used to the temperature. And the waves were pretty huge ( a lot of them anyway ). Unfortunately Sukimon lost her expensive Marc Jacobs sunglasses in the waves. If you ever find them reader, please know you should return them to Suki! Thanks. It was all dark and rainy when we were riding home but by the time we hit Brooklyn again it was all cleared up, precipitation-wise anyway. Dinner was yummy, delicious cha siew lai fun ( which I am obsessed with these days ).

The bad part about this beach getaway? I remembered to apply sunblock everywhere ( yay Jenn! ) except for my back where my bathing suit strings were. So now I have an angry red sunburn above and below where my strings were. Big ass *SIGH. It is pretty painful for me when I wear stuff that rubs against it, and that pretty much means everything. Poor forgetful Jenn…

So yeah, I think that covers what I’ve been up to recently. I’m just looking forward to DCJ part dos, bbq, and karaoke ( yet again ) in the upcoming two weeks. Yay for summer!

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